Dear Friend,


First of all I would like to thank you for trusting us with your concerns. In your letter you describe ‘dreaming’ as a process, which you enjoy doing throughout your whole day, every day. ‘Dreaming’ is a ‘positive’ state only when people are using it to set their goals, make plans for the future of oneself or of their children, etc. On the other hand, there is a case where people use dreaming as a defence strategy against situations that are negative to them or stressful. In this case, ‘dreaming ‘has two ways: it is either only the medium for these people to withdraw from these negative or stressful events in their lives or it is the actual content of the dream where life is always heavenly made, with no troubles, no bosses, no deadlines, no obligations, no financial problems, with a happy family, a big love etc.


What concerns me the most is your current situation, where you set aside -you literally sacrifice -your entire life and your family’s for. You have to consider if it is worth it. Do you feel that perhaps you are missing your children’s lives and their future as well? I do not know the content of your dreams, but if I assume that what happens with you is that you actually set goals and plan your future, don’t you think that at some point you have to get active and start make them happen?
Although your letter lacks of some important information as whereas you are male or female, or how old are you, you mention in it that dreaming gives you life. Which situation drives you to feel this way? In my opinion you need to short out this particular feeling, situation, person perhaps that drives you to be pulled out of your active life. You have to consider what drives you to put aside your responsibilities (your children, spouse, work, household affairs, etc) in order for you to have even the time to dream. In this case, you have to consider that the real issue is not about dreaming but the situation you want to avoid by dreaming.


We manage our life according to our actions and when we do so there is no guaranty on what short of quality this life is going to have. But we are obliged to act only for the best for our personal happiness first, and then the happiness of our children. The term “happiness” would not have its meaning if it wasn’t for bad moments in our lives, failures, disappointments etc. So, we should learn to accept these bad moments, failures and disappointments that inevitably will come by being active. Trying is better than doing nothing. These trials give meaning to our lives and not the opposite. I suggest at this point of your life you must stand up and move on. What you could do as a start is first to prioritize your personal needs, and then your family’s needs, and write them to a journal, which you will keep as guidance later on. Also, try organizing your days by making a long term-schedule, for the next two months, for example. You could use the same journal where you’ve written your needs and wishes. This will help short out your time during the day with your obligations, work, house affairs, etc. Whatever you choose to do, I would like to hear from you again, and how you moved on with your life. I hope I helped you with your concerns. Thank you,

A.K.