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αυτοκτονία επικοινωνία φόβος εξωτερική εμφάνιση κιλά σωματικό βάρος αποδοχή απομόνωση μοναξιά άγχος πίεση ομοφυλοφιλία σεξουαλική ταυτότητα διάβασμα ανεργία none
Ερώτηση
I have developed a life changing illness. This affected my husband's job search last year and this. When he turned down a job last year, word got around. He was turned down this year by places that would have relocated us near my oldest daughter. My younger daughter will be graduating this year and will move near my sister. I feel like it is all my fault. I do not know how I will cope when she leaves. My husband's current job has also been affected because he made the mistake of telling them he might be leaving last year before the interview. I question my value everyday, worry about the future every day. Have never been so completely, relentlessly unhappy. I think about inevitable suicide. I do not see a way out. I have been seeing a psychologist-cancelled last week. I also have continued to set goals, exercise, read, etc. and asked church people to meet with me, although I have few if any close friends. I am an atheist--happy that way. I am 53.
Απάντηση
I am glad you have chosen to contact with us. I understand you have been going through a difficult time lately. Many things have happened in your life, as you experienced an illness, changes in your family, and also the ambiguity of your husband’s job may have left you feeling hopeless and sad.
It seems to me as everything started when you got ill. When you say you have a life changing illness let me know that your lifestyle has changed considerably due to illness. You did not mention since when these changes on your health occurred? Most of the people in your condition face difficulties to adapt at first, since it may take some times to accept these changes and improve your life in the best way possible. Sometimes, this way of feeling may endure for a longer time, such as more than 6 months and in this case it is important to get proactive and seek help. It seems as many other issues came at one time and you feel overwhelmed. Even though you tried to be engaged in some helpful activities you feel the same. This may have left you think you have no way out, and as you say consider suicide. However, there are other options you have not tried yet and also sometimes we need another person to help us get through these situations. Often holding session with a psychologist is very helpful to see different perspectives in one’s life, clears the ideas in your head and for earning a confidence and will to move on.
Also, you are experiencing a new stage in your family, which are your children are moving out. This is a very difficult period for most of parents. But remember this does not mean you have stopped being a parent and also they are not going forever. You can communicate with them by phone or internet and this will lessen your worries. You can also visit them as often as you can. On the other hand, you may take this as an opportunity to take some time for yourself and maybe engage in a hobby of your interest. This could also help you socialize with other people or with your husband if you decide to share your hobbies. You also mentioned your husband’s job being affected by your illness. It is just how couples may change plans or directions when the other spouse is in need of them. However this does not make you guilty for your husband’s career. You can search for jobs together and you can help him find something suitable.
I hope we helped you in perceiving this situation in a new manner. Please do not hesitate to contact ask again.
It seems to me as everything started when you got ill. When you say you have a life changing illness let me know that your lifestyle has changed considerably due to illness. You did not mention since when these changes on your health occurred? Most of the people in your condition face difficulties to adapt at first, since it may take some times to accept these changes and improve your life in the best way possible. Sometimes, this way of feeling may endure for a longer time, such as more than 6 months and in this case it is important to get proactive and seek help. It seems as many other issues came at one time and you feel overwhelmed. Even though you tried to be engaged in some helpful activities you feel the same. This may have left you think you have no way out, and as you say consider suicide. However, there are other options you have not tried yet and also sometimes we need another person to help us get through these situations. Often holding session with a psychologist is very helpful to see different perspectives in one’s life, clears the ideas in your head and for earning a confidence and will to move on.
Also, you are experiencing a new stage in your family, which are your children are moving out. This is a very difficult period for most of parents. But remember this does not mean you have stopped being a parent and also they are not going forever. You can communicate with them by phone or internet and this will lessen your worries. You can also visit them as often as you can. On the other hand, you may take this as an opportunity to take some time for yourself and maybe engage in a hobby of your interest. This could also help you socialize with other people or with your husband if you decide to share your hobbies. You also mentioned your husband’s job being affected by your illness. It is just how couples may change plans or directions when the other spouse is in need of them. However this does not make you guilty for your husband’s career. You can search for jobs together and you can help him find something suitable.
I hope we helped you in perceiving this situation in a new manner. Please do not hesitate to contact ask again.